January 13, 2019
I’ve had to invent a word because it either does not exist or I’m not aware of it. My word is “laconvoidance.” It describes the dynamic that occurs when I feel a lack of confidence that leads to avoidance and procrastination.
I’ve had to invent a word because it either does not exist or I’m not aware of it. My word is “laconvoidance.” It describes the dynamic that occurs when I feel a lack of confidence that leads to avoidance and procrastination.
I could write volumes more on how this pattern shows up in other
areas of my life, but I’ll cut to the chase. I’ve been standing on the edge of
the pool of launching THIS solo blog for over a year. I was excited and making
headway last spring, and then I got distracted by another possible project. No
regrets that I explored that potential to its fullest (and in the end, made a
decision to not proceed). But the original, natural enthusiasm I had from
writing on a weekly basis as well as the excitement about this creative
endeavor morphed into self-doubt because of my not following through. The low
grade but joy-killing worry left me procrastinating and ruminating instead
about all that could go wrong. Truth is that it just takes courage to put your
genuine self “out there.”
I am lucky to be surrounded by a community of great people. Jack, who runs Float Carolina, and I struck up
a conversation after I went for a float* right before the New Year. We both have
an interest in oracles and I felt comfortable telling him about my stalling on
this project even though I don’t know him very well. He was so encouraging. His
own story of having the vision to follow his Spirit and heart to open Float
Carolina (which was a gutsy move for him to take at the time) inspired me to
commit to doing the same with my blog.
Then on January 1, two friends (who are both photographers
and artists) posted messages on Instagram that resonated with me. One was a quote from Charlotte Eriksson that
my friend Dawn (dawn_surratt) used which talks about the beauty of doing art
for the sheer act of just creating it and not worrying about the outcome. Mandy,
my other buddy, referenced words from Michelle Obama’s book, Becoming, that encourage us to own and
share our unique story and use our authentic voice.
And, as is often the case for me, there was a third and more
direct wave of encouragement. I went for a long walk on the afternoon of New Year’s
Day. It was sunny and brisk and it felt good just to be outside. On the horizon
to my left, there were puffy clouds and one cluster in particular caught my eye
and made me do a double take. I swear the cloud was in the shape of a speech
bubble! You know, the circle around words in a comic strip that indicate what
the character is saying. And there is was:
the final, personal oracle, playfully nudging me to just speak up a say
what I have to say.
I promise, I’m not clever enough to make this stuff up!
NN
*Floating has been around since the 1960’s, but in the last
decade it has seen a resurgence and is gaining momentum. Because of the overstimulation
and stress of modern living, we benefit from times of calm and relaxation. What
better way to achieve this than soaking in a 94 degree pool of highly
concentrated Epsom saltwater? At Float Carolina, where I have been floating for
the past year, they add 1,000 pounds of Epsom salt to each pod. The saturated
salt water causes you to be buoyant, hence the term “floating.” There are many
benefits of doing this on a regular basis.