I have two dear friends that live in Vancouver and they proposed taking a trip “somewhere” this May with me and my ex (who is also good friends with them). I have always wanted to visit Vancouver so I agreed to join in on the very first part of the trip, just for a few days in the city. That quickly morphed into my going for the whole vacation, which included a lovely ferry ride from Vancouver to Salt Spring Island for four or five days. We all had a lively FaceTime call a week ago Sunday and were looking forward to it.
By the end of the day, the news about the coronavirus was getting more intense. My anxiety ramped way up and I was not able to sleep. I started seriously re-thinking the wisdom of spending money on a big trip, traveling outside of the US and being on an airplane with an airborne, highly contagious virus going around, not to mention the larger ramifications of possibilities with the virus alone. Let me interject here that in hind sight, I am aware that this particular dilemma is trivial in light of some of the challenges others may be facing. By Wednesday, I made the decision to not go and spoke by phone to my ex and then sent a text to my two friends (because it was 3:45 am in Vancouver). I can get caught up in my head at times, especially when stressed out. By that night I as making up a story in my mind that my friends were mad at me and that I was a big flake in their eyes. Was I over reacting? After listening all day to clients process their anxiety and concerns about these uncertain times, I had another fitful night of sleep. Of course now it’s clear that my gut was right and I’m glad I listened to it, but I did not know that for sure at the time.
The next morning I forced myself to get up, meditate and take an early yoga class. And, I remembered to ask for an oracle. After class, while at a stop light, I looked up at the clouds and had to laugh out loud. I counted five jet contrail X’s in the sky (which for me is the equivalent of five kisses from the Universe). I’ve never seen that many at one time before. I immediately calmed down a bit and felt reassured by what seemed to be an over the top display of the oracle itself. Forty-five minutes later a chance glance at my kitchen stove clock read 9:11 (another frequent oracle for me). That synchronicity encouraged me to take yet another deep breath and stay in the moment, that moment, where I was completely safe and ok.
The next day I got a text back from my buddies in Vancouver, reassuring me that they totally understood and apologized for not having responded sooner (each thought that the other had done so already). Turns out I’m really not a flake after all. And thank you Universe for going big.
NN