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Leaving the Nest


May 3, 2020

For the past month, I have been sharing my condo with a nest of birds perched right outside and above my bathroom window. Every morning I hear the muffled chirps and tweets of the fledglings whenever they are being visited by a parent with food. They are crammed into a small space right at the roof line and I have been concerned about there being enough room as the tiny birds grow. There were scratching and pecking sounds as well as new calls and squawks at the beginning of the week, making me wonder if the time had come for them to fly the coop. The absolute silence the past two mornings as I washed my face and brushed my teeth confirms that the little ones have indeed left the nest.

Funny, I too am facing a similar quandary right now. At the beginning of the year, my work landlord called a meeting and informed me and the other four practitioners that sublease from her that she needed a change. She outlined details as best she could of what some of the changes might look like. Initially, it seemed reasonable to hope that we would be in transition for a long time. However, COVID-19 completely changed all of that and we were given a definitive end date of June 30th.

I was clearly in denial, as the news hit me hard. After getting cranky for a day and then having a big cry the next, I realized that I was grieving the loss of the community I’d come to love being a part of. I came to my work space almost five years ago because my ex and I ended our life partnership and I needed some separation since we were still going to stay in business together. It was the perfect place to land during that hard time. The collection of strong, warm and incredible women (and a few men) provided a healthy interdependence and connection. The office itself is within walking distance to my condo, is affordable and I like the vibe I have created in my cozy nook. I do not want to leave this nest but it is a reality I am being forced to accept.  

I was not raised to acknowledge, express or talk about my feelings. After having a nightmare one night (in the dream, a hand reached through a dark space to grab my hand and I woke up screaming) and then frustrating themes in my dream the next (like having a new client but not being able to get to my office and later in the dream dealing with water pipes bursting, then wanting a cup of coffee but being in a new city and not knowing where any coffee shops were etc. etc. etc.), it occurred to me that I was not addressing my fears, worries and upset. The squawking nest of baby birds encouraged me to have the sense to inhabit and vocalize my feelings. I have been easing into this new transition ever since because as I accept how I feel, it ironically gets less difficult and then the shift enables me to be proactive.

Thank you baby birds for teaching me to squawk a bit and nudging me to summon the courage to fly to a different perch.

NN